Journey Monologues No. 5: How many layers do you wear? #mindfulness

There is no need to blame your parents or anyone who abused you in your life, including yourself. But it is time to stop the abuse. It is time to free yourself of the tyranny of the Judge by changing the foundation of your agreements. It is time to be free from the role of the Victim.
— Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

Life is not static.  Whether we know it or not we are moving in one direction or the other.  Our life is a journey.  It can be a conscious one. One in which we can see where we have been and the path in front of us.  It can be an unconscious one where our mind takes over based on our experiences and the default thoughts we frequently repeat. Left unattended, those default patterns, often negative and fearful, run our lives, affect our decisions and cause us to act in certain ways that we wouldn’t otherwise choose.

As the result of trauma or abuse, we can layer up. Covering over parts of our personality or hiding elements of ourselves we feel ashamed of, we can block our own light. We may stuff away aspects of ourselves that we no longer share and eventually forget about. So much so, that we can be left with very little.

But it doesn’t stop there. Our relationship with ourselves will take us in one direction or the other. If we are unaware, we continually attempt to cover up our perceived inadequacies with layer upon layer of fear, anxiety, lies, anger or you name it. Our minds start to close.

Close-mindedness will cause us to blame our suffering and struggles on the people and events around us – the victim. We might deflect taking responsibility for our actions. Not taking responsibility for our lives is a direct formula for misery. If we are cut off from our inner child, close-mindedness can causes us to act in this way. It may be the only way we can see. In this case, fear has stripped us of our confidence and the access to our inherent wisdom, which lies inside.

We try to keep our perceived defects hidden by controlling the outside world. They keep finding their way out as our inside world becomes so covered in layers we cannot recognize its beauty and love. Going in this direction only causes more feelings of anxiety and inadequacy, causing the need for more and more disguising layers.

If, at some point in our lives, we are fortunate enough to recognize that something is amiss, we can begin to open our hearts. We can step on our life’s path – or back on it. Sometimes, we have to sink pretty low before we are even willing to look. These are the lessons of our lives.

If we detect that ray of light from within, we can nurture it. Now, depending on the density of our layers and our dedication to self-healing and self-realization, our journeys can vary in length. But regardless of how many layers that we have, Life will provide us with the direction that we need. Our journey is right in front of us.

As we go on our way, peeling off layer after layer, the people and events that we need to learn and grow will appear in our lives. Life will become a classroom, Earth School. Keep your hearts open with the intention of finding your way and someday a gleam of light from your inner world will show through – if it hasn’t already.

Life is not static. It is moving whether we are aware of it or not. But we do have a choice which direction it moves in. Which direction do you choose?